Episode 183 - Gloria Riley - Leaders On Leadership
Leadership is a journey that shapes greatness from within. In this episode, we have Gloria Riley to discuss the depths of leadership. She explains the often-overlooked elements of loneliness, weariness, abandonment, and the critical component of vision that shapes true leadership. Explore the impact of burnout, the importance of self-awareness in overcoming feelings of abandonment, and the essence of finding clarity in one's vision and purpose. Gloria emphasizes the need for a pure heart and a servant leadership mentality in fulfilling these callings, drawing insights as well from her book, Imagine, Believe, and Prosper. Tune in now and learn how to become a true leader!
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Gloria Riley - Leaders on Leadership
Welcome to another episode where we pull back the curtain on leadership and talk with leaders of all ages and stages about what it takes to truly pay the price of leadership. My guest is the one, the only, the tremendous, Gloria Riley.
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Gloria, welcome.
Thank you so much for having me on your show. I am very honored to be here.
I'm so excited. Let me tell the audience a little bit about Tremendous Gloria. You guys know, especially Gloria, that was my mother's name. All Glorias are extra super tremendous. Gloria is a phenomenal, dynamic, and inspirational business owner. She's a coach, a speaker, and an author. We're going to talk about her book at the end of the episode.
She is devoted to self-development and assisting others as she works to partner with the Creator. It is nice to meet a sister in Christ too. Her motto is, “Growth and development of people is the principle calling of leadership.” Amen. You're at the right place. We can't wait to hear what you say. Welcome again.
Thank you so much. Thank you for that warm introduction.
You're welcome. I always like to tell our audience where we connected. She called me on our business line and started sharing that she's a brand new coach, she has written books, and she was looking for other books she had heard about on our website to share with her clients. We started going through this. The more we talked and recommended books, we found out the more things we had in common. I said, “Tremendous Gloria, would you please be on my show?” My sister got right on there, and here we are. It's amazing. When you're open to it, you never know who you're going to connect with.
Of all the things that Tremendous Leadership is about, it is leadership. We are students of leadership. We know that leaders are readers. Hence the beautiful combination of books and being a lifelong learner. My father gave a speech called The Price of Leadership many years ago. It was probably his most requested speech. In it, he said that there are four things that you're going to have to be committed to if you're going to truly be a leader and not just a leader in name only.
The first of those topics is loneliness. We've all heard the term, “It's lonely at the top,” or, “Heavy is the head that wears the crown.” Can you unpack what loneliness has looked like for you in your leadership journey and perhaps some words of wisdom that you could share with our audience if they might be in a season of loneliness?
As a leader, as a person, you are going to experience loneliness. What we do with that loneliness is turn that negative aspect of loneliness into something positive. I started off in the insurance and financial services industry. When I started off, it was mostly males in the industry. I started off as a supervisor for Allstate Insurance Company. Inside the corporate office, there is a mixture of males and females. When I decided to go into the field as a sales agent, it was mostly males. You have the training, and then they leave you to yourself.
As a leader, as a person you are going to experience loneliness as what we do with that loneliness turns that negative aspect of loneliness into something positive.
I always felt it was lonely because I always had to reach out for additional training, additional help, or to say, “I'm experiencing this situation. What's the best way to go about conquering this situation?” Whereas I saw other individuals come into the industry and they buddied up right away. They weren't like me having to extend my arms for assistance and help. I realized if there is such a thing as loneliness, I could either learn how to cope with it or suffer from it.
Loneliness, to me, is not positive. It's a negative. I know that negative vibrations don't come from above. They don't come from the Creator. I learned early on that if I wanted to move the needle about anything in life, I had to always find a way or find a crack somewhere in the ceiling to get out of that lonely space. That's what I did.
I normally would go to someone older than me to share with them what I was going through. Once they understood me and I understood them, so we began to communicate, collaborate, and share, they felt more comfortable with me to share information. It was so I didn't feel like I was on a lonely island by myself. No man's an island to himself.
When you experience loneliness, don't stay in that situation. Write down different strategies to get out of that situation and turn it into something positive. It is something that everyone experiences. There's no way of escaping it. It happens for a reason because it allows us to self-reflect, “What can I do better? How did I get into this situation? Why am I in this situation? Have others experienced this as well? What is the solution?”
As a leader, you learn how to solve problems. This was your personal problem and you were able to come out of it. That means that if you run across someone who's experiencing the same loneliness, you're able to assist them. You learn from presets and examples. You're the example. You don't have to stay lonely. It's something that everyone is going to experience, but always know there is an answer to loneliness. You have to reach out.
You talked about the ownership of it. You talked about the things that are from above, which are the gifts of the Spirit, joy, hope, and love. Loneliness is a self-imposed emotion. You may be physically alone because you're not aware of what you're supposed to be doing, but then take action and say, “I don't have to stay like this.” I love that you said that because so many times, we sit there and get more isolated.
People can't read our minds. It's up to you to go ask someone. I love that you talked about how then, you have the empathy that you can probably see other people struggling and say, “I've been there.” You can pick them up and help them. You had the self-efficacy to ask somebody for help, but a lot of people still struggle with that. If you are out there in a space of this, ask somebody and reach out. People, if they don't know what you're going through, may assume that you've got it already figured out. That's fabulous. I love that. It is true. It does happen to everybody, even the most popular, wild, successful people. It's going to hit you sooner or later, so have that strategy. Thank you for that.
The next thing he talked about was weariness. A lot of times, Charles was a humorist but very used to dealing with people. He ran his insurance industry too. He would say, “Tracey, in life, you're going to find some people that do way more than they are expected and a lot of people that do way less.” It's tiring because if everybody did what they were supposed to do, we would not get so rundown all the time, but that's the way it is. How do you combat weariness so you can stay at your top form for your children, business, coaching, writing, and everything?
I have found weariness several times in my life. I'm going to reflect back to the most recent time that I experienced it. It was burnout. Having my own insurance agency, trying to wear all the hats, and going through the daily routines of running a business, I found myself very burnt out. It almost turned into a depression. You have to realize that you're human and you can only take on so much stress, pressure, and responsibility. Everybody needs to be rejuvenated. You need to sit back, examine, and reflect on what you're going through and maybe why this is happening to you.
You talked about loneliness being an emotion. Weariness is an emotion too. When you feel this weariness coming upon you, you have to think, “Is this positive or negative? Is this a negative vibration or a positive vibration?” Mine was a negative vibration. Even my countenance had changed. I didn't smile as much as I normally do. I didn't exercise as much as I normally did. It affected every aspect of my body. I did not like the way that I felt so I wanted to change that situation immediately. I wanted to be able to talk about, “I’m burnt out.”
A lot of times, we see people who are depressed or wary, or they’re not themselves and we brush it off. We’re like, “They're going through this. Nevermind them. I don't have time for this. Call me later.” It's a serious emotion to be in. It's a serious situation that you have. You are asking for help. Burnout, to me in my situation, was a signal that I was doing too much. I had to restructure my business, get the assistance and direction that I needed, and change that situation so I didn't feel burnt out as much
It is being able to realize, “It's okay to feel burnt out, but now that you've had your pity party, what's next? How are we going to get on top of this? How are we going to change this around and go back to being the same you? We know that's not a fruit of the Spirit. We're supposed to experience joy and happiness.” If we go through a moment in time when we're not 100% ourselves or we're not displaying all the fruits of the Spirit, think about how you got to that state and then start working on the correction.
There is always a solution to a problem. We have to recognize it and recognize that is not the state that our Creator intended us to stay in. If it happens, think about it, pray about it, and design a plan or a strategy. If you need help, reach out for help and move on. There's so much work in this world that His children, God's children, need to accomplish on this earth.
We were destined to accomplish specific tasks, each one of us. Mine is different from yours. In order to accomplish those tasks, we have to be at the right vibration. We have to have the right Spirit and the right attitude. Light attracts light, so we have to be able to attract that light. That has to be in the very best possible situation, attitude, character, mindset, and influence financially, spiritually, and emotionally that we can possibly be in to help someone else.
We have to have the right spirit and the right attitude because light attracts light.
I love it when you hit that burnout and the restructure. This is so crucial. I hope everybody read what she dropped. It comes from 1 of 2 sources, your burnout and your weariness. Either you don't have the means, which means there's an external deficiency where you need the who or you need help, or you said it's resources or direction. That's an intrinsic piece. That means you don't have the clarity or the singularity of your vision or focus.
Weariness comes from either intrinsically you are not exactly clear on your meaning and purpose for God's highest and best use of you or, number two, you know it but you don't have the tools or resources to get it. When you dial that in, then you get that relentless energy, that indwelling, or that infusing stuff. You're with the right people externally and internally. I'm glad you hit on that. Burnout originates from 1 of 2 sources and you hit on both of those well. Thank you.
We talked about loneliness and weariness. The next part that he talked about was abandonment. A lot of times, we hear about one of the fears, and it is the fear of abandonment. I don't know if you're a pet owner, but I'm in rescue, so abandonment has a very negative connotation. Charles was like, “I'm talking about abandoning what you like and want to think about in favor of what you ought and need to.”
If left to our own self-serving devices, I may not get out of bed and stay in my jammies all day, and think about nonsense. Abandonment is stopping the waste of time because your time is precious and life is fleeting. We only have a certain amount of moments. That was his focus, this hyper abandonment of all things for the best and the purest. Since you have a lot of different plates and a lot of different hats you wear, how do you abandon the things that are maybe good but not the great that Gloria needs to be focusing on?
That’s another good character there too. I love the recap that you did on weariness. When I was thinking about abandonment, I was thinking about self-awareness and understanding my purpose in life. A lot of times, if you look at abandonment, it can come from a lot of different sources. Initially, when I thought about this, I thought, “I could have felt abandoned when I was three and a half years old.” I was raised by my mother's oldest sister. I was separated from my mom and my family in South Carolina and moved to Seattle, Washington. I was raised by my aunt and her husband. I could have felt abandoned that no one loved me, but look at God. God put me in a family that nurtured me to be the woman that I am.
When I look at any type of abandonment or being forsaken, I see a light. I know it sounds supernatural, but I always see a light. At the early age of three, I knew that I was a child of God. I always saw the light that there was always something better for me, so I always wanted greater. I know there was better, but for some reason, deep down inside, I always reached for greater. I always wanted the greater.
When I experience some type of rejection or abandonment or there's no clarity, self-direction, or self-awareness, I meditate, practice yoga, and practice self-affirmations, the self-confidence formula. I love to read. Those types of things bring me back. They center me into who I am and why I am here on this earth. I understand my purpose.
When you're self-aware, you know that you’re destined for greatness and you know who you are. There is clarity. There's no reason to feel abandoned. You set your trajectory because you have completed your annual report, which is your annual report of what you are going to accomplish for the next twelve months. You have priorities, strategies, goals, and action steps. Every month, you go back to review, “What am I to accomplish in January?” Check that off. In February, you’re like, “What did I complete in January?” You don't have the time to feel abandoned. You have a blueprint. You have a track record.
You must understand why you were created. Once you realize why you were created and what you were created to do, then you minister to those individuals. It's a two-way street. My work is to partner with God. I'm His hands, feet, and mind on this earth. When I can go to bed at night knowing I've done all I was commissioned and appointed to do, then there is no room to feel abandoned. I am fulfilled by what I accomplished that day.
You remind me so much of Charles. I can't wait for you to meet him in Heaven because he, too, was abandoned by his mother at a very young age as well as his four brothers and sisters after him. He would always tell me, “I need to not try and reimagine the past. It is what it is.” In Christ, all that's gone. Joan Anderson, who was the interview before this, talked about the one thing that everybody has to understand in the beginning, and that's their origin. That means we're all creatures. What's our origin?
When you're a creature and you’re created or you evolved, you think that you're your own origin, which I don't understand how you could create yourself, but neither here nor there. You go back to the Creator. When you realize, “I am His and created for Him,” that gives you that grounding because He was abandoned too, but He was a new creature. Talk about life insurance. He even had a policy called the eternal life insurance policy. He'd sell you a whole term life, but then He'd sell you eternal life because that would pick up where the other stuff would let off. That was His thing, like you, “How can I feel abandoned when I've been claimed?”
I love that you talk about that rooting, that grounding, or that sense of origin that gives you the meaning and fulfillment on which then, you can have your blueprint. You stop sucking your thumb and thinking, “Woe is me.” Woe is everybody. Look at Joseph or the greats in the Bible that went through their abandonment. It is what it is, but we don't have to stay in that space. Thank you for that take on abandonment which I had not heard before.
That's great. I thought of it literally, but when you asked me the question, I thought about it in a different way. My mother did the best she could do. She felt she was making the best decision for me, her daughter. It was the best decision.
For my dad, it was too. It’s one of those things that you have to recognize. You did talk about abandonment and that you abandoned that feeling of, “Nobody loves me.” You could have carried that. There are still people with healthy two-family houses that still carry stuff. It's like, “Stop. They did the best they could or they were completely demonic and evil. That's neither here nor there. Right now, this is where you are.”
That's what we're talking about. We all fail each other all the time. Even the best parents are still horrible parents because that's the nature of sin and the fall of man. You did talk about abandonment in the sense that could have been the grudge or the bone of contention that made you so angry that you never found the love of Christ and you were out of sorts your whole life and mad.
That is so true.
I love that you peeled that back. We could go on and on about it. It touched me because I remember Dad talking to me about that. I was like, “I can't imagine that.” He was like, “You have a choice. You can abandon those feelings of hostility and anger. You can stop looking at other kids and realizing, “They all came from two-family households,” or back then, a lot of them did, “Why not me?” It's a ridiculous question. The verse is always what man intended for evil, God intended for good. Whatever else you went through, you don't have to harbor that. Thank you so much
Lastly, vision. I would always screw up with a lot of visionary people. I'm like, “They must have a chip in their brain to let them see things. They are amazing, influential, godly, and ethical.” Although my dad was like, “Vision is seeing what needs to be done and then doing it.” He had this very pragmatic tactical aspect to it. Strategic thinking is great, but without tactical planning and execution, it's esoteric. Can you share with us, especially as a coach, how you craft a vision for yourself or how you see a vision in our lives as a leader and some words of wisdom that you would give to us on that topic?
I see vision as your dad said that he sees something that needs to be done and he does it. I'll add this personal statement with you on how I see vision not all the time but for a majority of the time. I could be driving or I can be in the shower, or I can be walking my dog. I can be doing something completely unscheduled and a vision can come to me. I can see what I want to implement. I can see my next project or goal. When it happened, I wouldn't give it all the credit I needed to give it. I was thinking, “The wind is blowing. A vision that's coming to me is not significant.” As I started getting older, I realized it was a vision from above and it was very significant, so then I started implementing those visions.
Case in point, a few years ago, I had a vision to have a conference. In September 2023, I had a conference called the Wealth Legacy Retreat here in Atlanta. We talked about accumulating wealth and all the aspects of it, which were the legal part of it, the financial part of it, the health part of it, and the spiritual part of it, and brought it together. That was a vision that I received a few years ago. I worked on it until I was able to manifest it. When we are given the vision, then the task is to share that vision. You must be a good communicator to share that vision with others, and then as a collaborative body, you bring the vision to pass. I wanted to share that with you.
Leadership: The task is to share that vision. So, you must be a good communicator to share that Vision with others.
A lot of times, visions come to us when we're asleep. When we're asleep, the visions come, and then you wake up like, “Why did I think about that?” What I normally do is journal a lot. When I have a vision, I journal it. It's day 1 or day 2. I have two journals. There's a writing journal and a gratitude journal. I have one journal that's dedicated to gratification or gratitude. I’d be like, “I'm grateful today that I'm on the show with Dr. Jones.”
Vision, I believe, is so critical because you see it in different arenas. This is going to sound quirky again, but on Christmas night, everybody went to bed to wake up the next morning. I had a dream and was quiet about it. I didn't share it with anybody. In the dream, it's death two times. I didn't share it with my spouse, my family members, or anyone.
I received a text message that someone in my family had passed. In the past, I've seen a silhouette of death. I have dreamt about death. This one was an audible vision. I've also seen the picturesque vision as well. When we talk about vision, to me, there's a spiritual side of vision and then, for lack of a better word, a marketplace for vision. Vision is given to those that the Creator can entrust that will see the vision through no matter the results. It is like, “If I trust you to do what I've asked you or called you to do, will you complete the vision?”
At the conference, one lady came up to me. She was crying when she said this to me. When she came up, her eyes weren't filled with water, but when she got there talking, it was, and mine was tearing down too. She says, “I want to thank you for completing the vision.” That meant so much to me. It was like someone had given me $1 million because I was faithful in completing the vision that God had given me. He gave it to me years ago. I fought with it. I had to make sure everything was right.
You have to be willing to receive the vision, implement the vision, and see it through. If God can trust you with a little, He can trust you with more. Sometimes, they're scary because then, you go back to the spiritual vision. Hearing death while you're sleeping two times is scary. I didn't share it with anyone. Seeing as you’re driving a car a silhouette of death is scary as well.
The Lord, and I believe this is in the word of God, will entrust those that He knows are His children of God. He will only give to those who have an intimate relationship that He can trust to give certain visions to. You don't have to be perfect, but the Lord wants to know that you have a pure heart. You're not accomplishing these visions so you can prosper. You are acting in a servant leadership role with a responsibility to accomplish those visions.
You don't have to be perfect. But the Lord wants to know that you have a pure heart and you're not you're not accomplishing these Visions just so you can prosper. You are acting in a servant leadership role.
I love that you hit on the basis of vision. A lot of people quote, “All things work together for good work,” but you're forgetting the other part. If you love God, then you're His child. A lot of people are like, “I love God.” I'm like, “You're not.” They are called according to his purpose. I love that you brought out that vision is not a true vision from above. We know there are a lot of demonic visions going on in the prince of the world unless God has authored it. If God hasn't authored this vision, He's not obligated to finish it. If He gives it to you and He knows that you are a willing soldier and will do the work as you did, there's going to be no stopping it.
I'm so glad you brought that up because everything's like, “It's an idea from God.” Are you prepared for it? I'm sure when you got that vision, it was because He knew, and He's omniscient so He already knows, that you had been preparing your whole life for this. It's not something that you sat up one day and said, “I feel like doing this.” It's not Willy-nilly. It’s perpetual. You were a baby and then you were an adolescent. You’re a young woman, and then you’re a warrior woman in Christ grounded in the financial industry and able to rightly divide the word of truth and the word of wealth. That's when it comes together.
Wonderfully said.
I love it. I love that you brought up what vision is because a lot of times, it’s like, “When does it come for me?” You're so right without our creator, we're integrators. We're executors. He already made everything that ever was and it's all His anyway. Let’s be good stewards of the talents we're given and let Him do the rest. Thank you.
Thank you.
This is like C.S. Lewis stuff. I got to go back and chew on it a couple of times to get the good stuff out of it.
I love C.S. Lewis.
We talked about loneliness, weariness, abandonment, and vision. Is there anything else that you would like to share with our audience as far as anything else leadership you'd like to share with them? Also, I would like you to share about your book too.
I know that regarding leadership, there are so many distractions vying for our time in terms of who's a leader, who's an influencer, or who's doing what. We need to stay focused on true leadership. True leadership doesn't ask for a pat on the back. We want to move a person from where they are to where we see they can be. We can see their journey and their destination before they can even see it.
True leadership is iron sharpening iron and helping that person get to their greatness. I did want to mention that about truth leadership and keeping your eye on the ball. What I mean is staying in tune with the spiritual awakening of our spiritual destiny. That will guide us to the type of leader and the type of leadership that we need to share and spread to the world.
Leadership: True leadership is iron sharpening iron.
Imagine, Believe & Prosper(R): A Guide To Financial Success
I am a second-time author. I haven't written as many books as you have, but I have written a book and it's on Amazon. It's called IMAGINE, BELIEVE, & PROSPER. The name came to me as a vision. I have trademarked the name because it means that much to me. That's my mantra. If you can imagine, you can see it. You can imagine it. You can believe it before you receive it. Your desires will come to pass and you will prosper. That's the name of the book. It's a guide to financial success. It's available on my website at GloriaRiley.com. It's also available on Amazon. If you would read it and write a review, I would appreciate it a lot. It's a guide that can help any and everybody.
There are a lot of changes coming into the financial services arena. We know that. There are a lot of changes coming to the banking system, cryptocurrency, Bitcoin, digital currency, housing market, life insurance, homeowners insurance, and mortgages. There are a lot of changes coming down the pike. God wants us to be great stewards of what He has given us.
Education is a continuous curriculum or a continuous journey that we need to always pursue and stay on top of. We need to continue being good stewards of what we have. Once we do that, then we're able to bless others. I hope you will pick up the book. It's not too late. You can send out a belated Christmas gift or share it with friends and leave a message for me on my website about what you thought of the book.
I love it.
I'm so excited about that. I'm a coach, an author, and a speaker, and I run an insurance agency. God will design you in such a way that you're able to fulfill everything that He has predestined you to do. I thank God that everything that I touch is intertwined with financial literacy. It is making sure that we understand the times that we're living in, that we are good stewards of our resources, and that we take care of the loved ones that we brought into this world and the loved ones that we communicate and connect with all the time. Iron sharpens iron.
A lot of people are having difficult times in this recession with the high economy. They need encouragement. Someone may not ever hear my voice, but thank you. Here, they will read what I have to say. Even the lost children are still children of God. They're lost but they're still created by God. They say, “A voice of a stranger they will not obey.” We need to share the good news of the gospel that God loves you. He will provide for you and will give you the resources that you need so that you can live a godly life.
It all starts with that. Otherwise, you could give everybody $1 billion and it would make things worse without that awareness or without knowing it. Bless your heart. Thank you. If you're looking for a coach, we want you to stay in touch with her. To our audience, this brings us to the end of another one of our tremendous, robust, rich, informative, and inspiring discussions. Thank you so much for tuning in.
If you like what you’ve read, please be sure and hit the subscribe button. Share it with a friend who may need to know how to pay the price of leadership and be encouraged that if they're going through loneliness, weariness, abandonment, and vision, they're doing it right. There are leaders like us that are here to put their arms around them. If you'd leave us the honor of a five-star review, that lets other people know the kind of caliber of content that you're reading. Please also connect with Tremendous Gloria. Thank you again so much for sharing with us. Such a blessing.
Thank you. It was an honor. I've enjoyed it so much. I love the work that you're doing. I commend you. May God continue to bless you. It's been a phenomenal time here with you. I've enjoyed it so much.
I look forward to maybe even doing a conference together. That would truly be tremendous, wouldn't it?
Yes, it would be.
Leadership: You're going to be the same person five years from now that you are today except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read.
To our audience out there, always remember you're going to be the same person five years from now except for two things, the people you meet and the books you read, so make sure they are both tremendous. Thanks so much for paying the price of leadership. Have a tremendous rest of your day. Bye.
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About Gloria Riley
Gloria Riley is a phenomenal, dynamic, inspirational business owner, coach, speaker, and author. She is devoted to self-development and assisting others as she works to partner with the Creator. Her motto is "Growth and development of people is the principle calling of leadership".