Episode 143 - David Inemer - Leaders On Leadership
You could be quite unpopular at times, trying to do the right things for the right reasons. But good leaders have to be able to stand on an island by themselves to fight the good fight. Host Dr. Tracey Jones presents David Inemer, the Teacher and Motivational Speaker at William S. Hart Union High School District. David talks with Dr. Tracey about how people often take leaders for granted because they don't see the work and ethic it takes to lead. The key is for leaders to learn how to maintain the right balance between professional and personal life. They also take us further to David's work with young leaders and how they are leading them to greatness. Tune in!
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David Inemer - Leaders On Leadership
My guest is David Inemer. David has been teaching for many years at the junior high and high school levels. He thinks teaching is the greatest profession on Earth. He is most passionate about helping students realize the value of an education. David, that is exciting indeed. Thank you for being our guest.
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to know about this because you get the young emerging leaders and get to pour into them. I'm sure most of our audience out there has had a teacher at that level. Those impressionable ages, put a book in their hand, inspire or encourage them. That is why they're already living a tremendous life. Can you tell me about how you intersected with books or how you heard about Tremendous a little bit about how we connected?
The Ultimate Gift (The Ultimate Series #1)
Many years ago, a gentleman came to my school and gave a little motivational presentation to the staff. He gave a copy of this book by this author, Jim Stovall. The Ultimate Gift is the name of the book. I read the book. It resonated and connected with me. At the time, I was doing a few motivational speeches. They paid me as much in one day as I made in a month as a teacher. I was like, "I want to give something back like that gentleman who came to my school and gave something to me." He put a book in my hand that made a difference for me.
I looked on the internet. I'm trying to find where I can get copies of this book. I happened upon Tremendous Leadership and your father. I called and inquired about obtaining the book and your dad got on the phone, Charlie Jones. He had a conversation with me. I talked to him about how as a teacher and what I was doing.
Right away, he sent me a bunch of different little books to encourage me and enrich my life as a leader to help the students and people that I was in contact with. Besides purchasing a large number of those books, which I gave out because that was my intent, he took time with me, spoke, encouraged and sent me many books, which I read that helped me and influenced my life.
For our readers out there, a lot of them are probably smiling and nodding saying, "Dad gave him a book." I try and carry on that legacy. He would always say to me, "The more books you give away, the more money you make." It was so counter-intuitive, but what a blessing to hear how that changed your life.
We did initially publish The Ultimate Gift. Jim Stovall is a dear friend and that book is still going strong. Thank you for continuing to share that. Let's get right down into it. The price of leadership. Leadership is not for the faint of heart. A lot of people think, "I'm a leader. I get the big office, the corporate car, all that stuff, the accolades." In fact, there's a price you have to pay.
My father spoke extensively about the price you're going to have to pay to be a true leader. The first price he said you have to pay is you've got to deal with loneliness. We all hear that, "It's lonely at the top." David, you've been in this field for many years. Can you share what loneliness as a leader is? What does that look like for you? Maybe a time when you were in a season of loneliness and how you combat this very real thing that leaders have to face.
It all depends upon you. Like I would say with the students, “I don't need 12- or 15-year-old friends. There doesn't need to be a wall between us, but there needs to be a line between us. I'm not going to cross that line. You're not going to cross that line.” They're not always going to like you or agree with everything you say and do. You could be quite unpopular at times, trying to do the right things for the right reasons. Sometimes people may not see it the same way and that's okay.
You have to be able to be out on an island sometimes by yourself, fighting the good fight. I came into school to do this show and it's completely dark. It's not the very best of areas. I'm the only person on campus. Oftentimes, when I come to work, I am the first one here and the last one to leave. A lot of times, people don't see the work, effort and ethic that it takes to be able to lead and to do the things that you do. They take that for granted. They see you showing up or the results, but they don't see the thought, care, time, love and energy that goes in to make everything happen. Those are the things that people don't see. Most leaders do and don't tell anybody about. They just do it. You do what you need to do.
You talked about, “We're on the same team,” but there is that line of demarcation. In the military, they called it fraternization. Officers and enlisted, we go to war and would die for each other, but still there is that boundary. That's important for leaders because I know a lot of leaders are like, "I want to be people's friends." I'm like, "That's not your role."
I would deal with, "I'm doing this for the best of everybody. I'm getting such bite back from it and I'm alone." George McDonald has a quote that says, "To be trusted as a higher compliment than being loved." I had to always realize that as a leader, you're a lot of times going to be unpopular and that's okay. You have to do it for the long-term health of the entity or the individual. It may be hurtful for a brief time, but in the end that's better than it being harmful for a lifetime.
I appreciate your insights on that. Sometimes we're dealing with adults, but from an emotional maturity standpoint, it may feel like we're dealing with 12- and 15-year-olds. Sometimes I'm like, "Are we in our 60s or are we 12? Which is it?" Thank you for bringing that up. Loneliness, now weariness. You said you're the first in, you're the last out. How do you combat weariness? It's got to be exhausting, pouring into these young lives, especially when they come to you to fill up and you may be the only faucet that's pouring into them. How do you stay energized and combat weariness?
For one thing, I do try to maintain some balance in my life between personal and professional and taking care of others. I'm not the best at this, I will admit. I struggled with putting my mask on first before I reached for the mask to put on someone else. Sometimes I'd let that get out of balance. I have to reel it back in and get on track. For me, having a circle of people, a community that helped fill me up and pushed me forward in life, people that I can count on, that small circle. Sometimes it's not even people in person. There are motivational speakers that I listen to, books that I read.
Inky Johnson is a speaker and an amazing gentleman. I've never met him, but each time I hear him speak, it inspires me to have more energy, keep going, push through and push forward. I try to watch what I put in my mind, what I've put in front of me to see, the circle around me in my life so that it would help pick me up when I'm down and encourage me to move forward and take steps. Sometimes where I don't feel like taking steps at that moment or that day, and they helped me through those times of weariness.
Depending on the person and also their faith, that's a personal decision. For other people, they start with their faith and then their circle. For me, it's the books, community and motivational speakers. I find encouragement and weariness with the students that I'm leading. A lot of them live very challenging lives and persevere through so many things. They deserve my best. They deserve a teacher who's going to show up and give them the very best they can. It encourages me to work harder.
Did you ever read Parker Palmer's, The Courage to Teach? It's very much what you're talking about. The highest calling and how we need to be at it. I love that you talked about that you have people to help you shoulder the burden. Whenever I see somebody in that spiral, I'm like, "Who're your lifelines?" They're like, "I don't have any." I'm like, "You have to have them. They're out there. If you don't have them, then you are intentionally stopping them." That's important. I love the reminder, you got to take care of yourself first or you're not going to be of any use to anybody.
We talked about loneliness and weariness. The next term that my father talked about the price of leadership is abandonment. That tends to have a negative connotation, but his point was we need to abandon what we like and want to think about in favor of what we ought and need to focus on. For him, abandonment was this extreme ownership and focused so that you declutter your life. With everything going on, all the noise, all the different hats that you wear, how do you David stay hyper-focused and abandoned to the call of teaching?
Good Leaders: You could be quite unpopular at times, trying to do the right things for the right reasons.
I find inspiration in many places. I was talking to an 82-year-old man who is in the hospital. He was talking about how many of the things that we get bogged down on don't matter at all. What he's learned being in the hospital for the month that he has is that we need to focus on the most important things. The most important things may be different for different people. You got to make sure that you put the most important things first.
The story about the gentleman. He's a teacher. He comes in. He has the jar, pebbles, sand, and water. He talks about it with the students. If you put the sand in first, water in first and then pebbles, there's no room for the rock. If you did it the other way, you put the rocks in first, then the pebbles, sand and water, he demonstrated this to his students. You have to put the most important things first.
I try to keep reminders around me to stay focused and not to abandon the greatest calling and the most important things. The quote that I'm looking at that's on the side of my classroom is, "I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. Which I can do, I ought to do. Which I ought to do, I will do." I believe that was Helen Keller. It's important to stay focused and not abandon the most important things.
I love the rock analogy. I've heard that a million times, but the way you explained it, teacher, that impacted me. I'm like, "There are some kinesthetic learning exercises I can do with that." Last of all, my father talked about vision. Sometimes with vision, we get this thing where you got to be this esoteric or philosophical. My dad was always like, “Vision is seeing what needs to be done first of all and then two, doing it, executing it.” I was like, "Okay." You're in an already established curriculum. How do you weave little bits of your vision into this and make it yours?
You started with Proverbs, "Where there is no vision, the people will perish." I try to be real with the students and help them to start because I wish I would have done this at a much younger age to develop a vision for your life, “What is it that you want? What is it that you don't want? How do you want to live? What do you want to do for work? What do you want your relationships, education and health to be like, to start making a vision for your life?”
I was talking to a gentleman and he was questioning me about something because I wrote many of my students want to own their own homes. He was like, "I've taught eleven-year-old kids before and none of them speak about that.” I was like, "My students do because many of them don't own their own home. We're talking about things like that, ‘Do you want to own a nice car? Do you want to own your own home? If you get a nice car first, it might get in the way of your greater vision of owning your own home.’" I try to weave in as much as I can to help them.
I encouraged him too, “Your vision for your life is your vision. It's not mine. It can and should be very different than mine or the person next to you. I encourage you to consider your vision in all areas of your life, financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and all the llys. What type of vision do you want to have in your life? Once you get some working in your mind, get after it like it means everything in the world because it does. You mean everything in the world.”
Without vision, it perishes. I can't tell you, even for adults, the number one thing that people get hung up on is, as you said, “Tell me what you want in life.” When you nail that down, that purpose point or what feels best for you or incorporate your God-given gifts in your physical intrinsic, genetic coding, the rest floats. Everybody gets so caught up on that. People keep coming back and spinning and drifting until you land on what you want. I am so thankful that you are hitting them at an early age about what do you want. We have society. We want to be good citizens. We had the dreams of our parents, but what do you want?
That's so good that you're challenging them. Those of us who grew up with our parents' own home, it never dawned on us that we wouldn't own a home, but if you don't have a home where you live in the streets or you're in a shelter, that's an aspiration and a beautiful indeed. Thank you for laying that out to them, “Here's how you get there. Here are the steps because every step you take is a choice and then there's a consequence intended or unintended.” How beautiful that you're sharing that with them.
David, we covered loneliness, weariness, abandonment and vision. Anything else from a leadership perspective? You get a unique perspective on the next generation of emerging leaders. Anything else you want to share with our audience and our Tremendous Leaders because this has been fascinating. I'd love to know more about any other topics on leadership that you would like to share.
There's this quote, "The kids care less about what you know until they know you care." It may sound corny, but it is so true. That holds true for the classroom, but it holds true with adults and people. Kids and adults can tell right away if someone is going through the motions and whether they care about who's in front of them and what it is that they're conveying.
Good Leaders: Kids and adults can tell right away if someone is going through the motions or whether they care about who's in front of them.
One, The kids, they got to know that I care. Truly from deep in my gut and my heart that I care about them. Two, I try to approach it as a humble servant. I'm here to serve. I'm here for you. I'm here to help you. Help me to help you because that's what I'm here for. I try to do it as humbly as I can and with extreme ownership. Anytime I mess up, that's completely on me. That's my fault. I made a mistake. I own that, “What can I do to make this right? I don't intend to do this again.” Putting in the work, showing up humbly, being a servant, letting them know you care are all essential parts of leadership.
You have given us so much information. How can people connect with you and support you in what you're doing?
I have a website called ValueOfAnEducation.com. I give everything away there. It's free. There's information for students, parents or teachers. They could take that. There's a little demo that some kids made of a speech I do on the Value of an Education where I try and inspire students to get their education.
I saw that. That was awesome. That's on YouTube.
I am teaching in a school that is in a very challenging area with very challenging demographics. It's a very poor area. I have a friend who teaches at a school 40 miles away, but we might as well be in two different countries with what her school has. Her students have the level of academics. My students have great needs.
I have a students' store that I made. I go around yard sales in different places, find things and buy things. I put it in my students' store. I give them fake money for points. They buy things at my students' store. I brought in 30 toothbrushes that were donated by my dentist because I had a dentist appointment.
I'm looking for people to help motivate my students. This would be something amazing. If there is a motivational speaker, someone successful, someone who would give my kids a one-minute video, a shout-out of encouragement or if they wanted to come and visit, they hear my voice, but they need to hear others who believe in them, people who have changed who they were and made changes in their lives. Many of these students hope to and need to make changes in their lives, from where they're at and where they want to be. Anybody who would want to contribute to these young people who have so much potential and need some help getting there along the way. I would be truly grateful for that.
That's what leadership is, seeing that and giving people the means and the resources to do that. I've got some books coming your way. David, where are you located? Where's your school at?
It's in Lancaster, California.
For our readers that are out in that area, we will have David's contact information in there, so you can continue to pour into what he's doing. David, thank you so much. We wish you much blessings and success as you go into these areas, ignite the greatness and all these youngsters coming up. What grade are you teaching? When people want to do a little video and send it to you because we'll put your email address in there. What's the age group that we're gearing it towards?
I'm teaching sixth grade this year. I've taught mostly in high school. It's my first time with sixth graders. The name of the school is Piute Middle School. It's 1 of the 100 lowest schools in California, but students have grown so much and are doing amazing things in a short time. They're working hard. Anything that anybody would want to do to help or connect with these young kids, encourage them and motivate them would be most appreciated.
I always tell people 5 to 10 are my peak. They get me. Middle school is a tough age. I wouldn't go back to that if you pay me $1 million. If you get the right influences and you need some heavy-duty influences when they start getting there because that's when the world starts creeping in or that critical spirit, that negative self-talk or bad influences come in. Thank you for hitting them at such a pivotal juncture.
Thank you for having me. Thank you for doing what you do to inspire so many people. Thank you for passing on positive messages for people to grow, learn and achieve. Thank you for doing what you do to impact people.
You're welcome, David. I couldn't do it without people like you. To our audience out there, thank you so much for being a part of this legacy too. If you like what you read, please do us the honor of a five-star rating. Be sure to hit the subscribe button and share this with some other people, especially those in teaching, because they need to know there are teachers out there making a difference. We love, value and support them. That encouragement is so important.
Be sure to head over to TremendousLeadership.com. If you're not on our newsletter, if you sign up, you get two weeks of free eBooks. You can share them with other people as well. Thanks, everybody. David, thank you for sharing with others what it takes to pay the price of leadership. It’s appreciated. To our tribe out there, you have a tremendous day, and you keep on paying the price of leadership.
Important Links:
YouTube - DEMO Value of an Education presentation
About David Inemer
David has been teaching 31 years at the Junior High and High School level. He thinks teaching is the greatest profession on earth. He is most passionate about helping students realize the value of an education.