Every tragedy in life may result in transcendence. As we’re going through difficulties, especially today with the pandemic, we realize that these challenges are opportunities to discover things you never knew existed. On today’s show, Dr. Tracey Jones and Terri Murphy tackle a very timely subject – how to handle life’s tough times and master the gift of challenge! If you’re feeling lost or broken, tune in and discover how to refresh, replenish, and come out stronger!
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Listen to the podcast here:
Feeling Broken Or Lost? Author Dr. Tracey Jones Shares How She Discovered The Way To Handle The Tough Times That Happen In Life And How To Master The Gift Of Challenge!
When you wrote this book, which was before this actual pandemic hit, I don't think you were aware of how powerful the profundity of a statement that you made was. You and I know this from our personal experiences, but for those that you said are not familiar, “Every tragedy in life may result in transcendence.” You've got a powerful statement there because something that we're going through now or that they went through in other parts of history helps you see things differently. You will have two sides to that equation. Somebody is going to see it as an opportunity, struggle or tragedy, but you will uncover and discover things you never knew existed because you're forced to look at things differently, now that we're not in the whirlwind of life.
That's the beauty of it.
You were spectacular when you said that. You also said in the book that you have had to repeat too many lessons too many times and felt like the breakthrough was beyond your reach. One of the common denominators in Smart Women/Smarter Choices and all the interviews that we did was that people felt like they would keep repeating the same mistakes, whether it's relationships, jobs, or seeing how they see themselves. You have been through so many webinars and seminars. Tell us about how you were able to discover these five essentials that can make a difference and believe that you can change after you have been through that.
This is so important for our audience. I have been through every repeat cycle. I'm no dummy. I try hard. I touched a stove once, I don't touch it again. For those of you out there that feel like there's a metaphor of a slingshot and you want to fly for it, but you keep getting pulled back, my words to you are you will be released when the time is right, and when you are on point and on target. If I had been released years ago, my little stone would have fallen on the ground and have not gone anywhere.
We always want to fly ahead of our guardian angels. That time will happen when it's meant to happen. It's like this virus. When are we going to get freedom? I don't know. If somebody would give us a date, we could go on about our way, but we don't know. I would say for people, if you're going through this and feel like you're misfiring, correct what you can correct but never stop trying because of persistence. Just because you don't get it right doesn't mean that you stop trying.
The book was born out of my doctoral dissertation. I wanted to study the Theory of Motivation. Igniting greatness is nothing more than, “Can you face each day with everything in it, fight the good fight, and go to bed at night knowing you did the best you can?” That's living the enlightened life. For my dissertation, with all the interviews and the 10,000 hours of people talking, I drew into five different things that ignited greatness.
I realized there's something that starts it, but then you need the other thing that keeps it going. It's like a coin or a dance. We are not meant to be on the dance floor on our own. You have seen people that all of a sudden go, “This is what I'm meant to do. I'm going to do it.” They go do it and they're not met with applause. They peter out and give up. It's like that was only the first part of it. You have this world piece where you have to go out, engage, and do this journey with other people.
That came out of the dissertation. The reason I started my PhD is I was so broken and lost. It failed so badly that I thought, “I might as well go to school,” because I got nothing else to do. I'm telling you and for any of you that are thinking about going back to school, I cannot recommend it enough. People say, “What do you get out of it?” You get to be a better thinker and know yourself better. What better two reasons for that?
You said it. You get to be a better thinker. When you say you were broken, this woman is the President of Tremendous Life Books. She got thrust into taking care of executive books. You're a publisher. You've had to do the whole online thing. You lost both parents, which had a profound impact on your life. No one gets out on stage. You said something that resonated with me. You said that we compare ourselves when we don't know the real story that's going on behind someone's life. You said it best. Your statement said, “No one has lived your life but you.” That tells us that we can only interpret life through our own lens.
An Italian kid from Chicago is going to be different from a Southern kid from Louisiana, which is going to be different from a child growing up in Guyana. It's how we build the pantry of our experiences, which is how we view. I was impacted by your statement because it was so clear. You said, "There's never been a time in our society where many of us feel their vision is the only vision." I'm not going to go you know where. You can't do that. You speak about collective intelligence. As we wrap this up, you said, "There's an edge about walking in someone's shoes." Why don't you elaborate and share that with us?
Handling Tough Times: We need to step back and understand everybody. We're not God. We don't know what's in people's hearts or minds. When you realize that, life becomes so much more peaceful.
The more you know, the more you realize you don't know. In 2020, I was over in Africa. The more you see and experience, you understand we're all part of one race. It's the human race. The higher your level of pride, the higher your level of accusation and insecurity. When you're sitting there judging people, even somebody that doesn't wear a mask out to go shopping, you don't know anything about that person. You don't know if they had it. You just don't know.
We need to step back and understand everybody. We're not God. We don't know what's in people's hearts or minds. When you realize that, life becomes so much more peaceful. You don't have to right every wrong. All you got to do is take care of yourself. You will be a beacon of light where you need to be it. Terri, we have pretty tremendous lives, but everybody else is there fighting and trying to get through like you. When I realized that, it was so humbling. Stop focusing on everybody else and deal with yourself.
That is so beautiful. I have to tell you it gives me chills when you say that. You do say in the book, “There are commonalities across humanity to share this process that is timeless and universal.” They appeal to every single entity to the human race, but there's a great diversity in the body or our packaging. There's tall, short, white or purple. However, there is also an immutable unity. We are created as a collective and working, living and playing together. That is how we function best.
We all have a need to love and be loved. It's the greatest commandment. Even if you're not theological, we still are bred as a collective. You can't deny it. We need to stop being so divisive and destructive and realize that anytime you're pointing the fingers, it's the old, “Think about the plank in your eye first.” That's a sign of maturity and security. That's perfecting yourself. When you realize, “I'll keep my mouth shut. Let me focus on myself.”
That's a great way to wrap this up. This pandemic affects humans, whether it's yellow fever or whatever it is. It is not selective about short, tall, beautiful, rich or poor. If nothing else drives that to your consciousness or your other than consciousness, you're not thinking. Everybody and even every part of nature want to be loved and nurtured. When you understand what people fear or love, then you understand, “Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.”
I bet a lot of money on it that our people would like to hear more about you. You have written other books. I know you're going to join us again. Where can they get this book? When is it going to be out? I know that you speak, consult, and do many wonderful things. Tell us a little bit about what we can do to find this book and others.
They can reach out on www.TremendousLeadership.com. All our books, our kids' books, free webinars, and other books that we published are on there. We have Acres of Diamonds, A Message to Garcia, and As A Man Thinketh. We're a publisher too. Also, if you get on there, we are starting a Crisis Leadership series that people can download the ten top lessons that I learned from my study that you can apply to whatever organization you had and whatever crisis you're going to go through. This isn't going to be the last. It's good that we do some after-action and review what we can do better. It's TremendousLeadership.com, my email, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube. Send me an email and come to our global headquarters right here in Central PA. I will answer it immediately.
What is your email address?
My email address is TJones@TremendousLeadership.com. If you sign up, we have been handing out free eBooks of our little wonderful Life-Changing Classics. If you sign up for them, you can get fourteen of them. I'm putting out free chapters every day of my book Beyond Tremendous. We want to pour out as much positivity to help you not kill time but fill time. This is a wonderful time in history to be able to hit the pause button, refresh, replenish, and come out of the gate strong.
I don't think we could end this any better. I know that you are a brand new wife. He's an adorable hunk. It’s going to be a whole separate interview. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, Charlie Tremendous. We will do another whole series on the Tremendous piece because that's so fun. I want to thank you for the grit that you displayed and behaved. You didn't have to go to school, serve in the military or go to Africa. You did these things because, through you, we get to enjoy and see the vision of your experiential capital. I hope you'll join us again on Realty Times - Women in Business.
I would love to, Terri. Thank you so much.