Episode 132 - Kelly Waltman - Leaders On Leadership
Every leadership philosophy must be combined with a clear and admirable vision. Without these two, you won't be able to steer your team in the right direction, and connecting with them would be really difficult. Dr. Tracey Jones delves into what it takes to work with people on a meaningful level with the CEO of SLR Leadership Consulting, LLC, Kelly Waltman. She talks about how vision does not necessarily have to be on a huge scale but must be a personal compass towards your goals. She emphasizes why your values and ideals must never be forced unto your team, discussing the power of diversity in achieving unity. Kelly also explains why failures must be normalized as inevitable facets of life to be taken advantage of for profound individual development.
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Kelly Waltman - Leaders On Leadership
I'm extremely excited because my guest is Dr. Kelly Waltman. She is the Founder and CEO of SLR Leadership Consulting. She's a number one international bestselling author and a keynote speaker. With over twenty years of experience developing and delivering curricula, Kelly has a passion for helping individuals learn and grow by helping take the fear out of feedback and sharing the tools to have better and braver conversations. She helps leaders and teams cultivate a positive workplace culture that is engaging, inspiring, and more productive than they ever thought possible. Kelly, welcome. It is such a pleasure to have you here.
Thank you so much, Tracey, for having me. I'm thrilled to be here and to have this conversation with you.
Speaking of conversations, I love that you talked about taking the fear and having the tough conversations because leadership has to have those tough conversations. I was having a discussion with a friend that was like, “Oh, no.” I'm like, “Leadership isn't about getting the job done. Leadership is about dealing with the people.” All of a sudden, this light went off and she was like, “Oh, no.” I'm like, “That's why it's tough.”
One of the things I love about the title of your dad's book, The Price of Leadership, is that people think, “I want to be a leader. That sounds romantic.” We romanticize this idea of leadership. It's all glorified. There are a lot of rewarding things about leadership but it is hard work on a lot of levels. We're dealing with people.
We can figure out anything but it's the people equation that’s like, “Wow.”
A huge part of that is those conversations. Being able to have those tough conversations is at the crux of leadership. I appreciate that you say that.
Leadership Philosophy: If you're in a season of loneliness, recharge yourself through network interaction and seeking support.
You alluded to my father's Price of Leadership speech. This is the number one speech that he gave. He talked about that if you're going to be a true leader, not a LINO, Leader In Name Only, there's a price you're going to have to pay. Kelly, you hit on some of these things because it is draining, depleting, scary, and lonely. Let's unpack that. The first price he talked about was loneliness. We've all heard the saying that it's lonely at the top, especially when you have to have these conversations. Can you unpack that? You have an extensive leadership background. What does loneliness mean for you as a leader? Can you share maybe a time you went through loneliness?
One of the things that are so fascinating thinking about loneliness in leadership is depending on where you are in your leadership journey and what that looks like. Loneliness is a part of that no matter where you are. If you're starting, middle management, C-Suite executive, or the owner, how loneliness is going to manifest and present itself is going to be nuanced. It'll always be there but it'll be nuanced based upon where you are in that journey and the reality. I've had the experience of feeling all of those.
I've been that new supervisor early on and you feel lonely because you're trying to figure it all out. I've been the middle manager, which can be particularly lonely because you often don't have this peer equal. You're stuck in this limbo of you're now a leader and you're responsible for leading people but you're also still reporting to people. You're stuck in this middle space and not having that peer equal. It's lonely because you're not on the same levels that people used to supervise and you're not at the level of those C-Suite executives. Running a company, I feel that new space of loneliness of leadership.
What's interesting about this is while our own individual unique experiences are unique, the journey is not as lonesome as sometimes we think it is. There are people who have experienced similar experiences. When you talk to people, the way maybe that showed up in their lives and presented itself is slightly different but they had that hard lesson too or had that experience and felt that loneliness. Particularly if you are in a space where you don't have a peer equal, whether you're the business owner or the executive, or you're in that other middle management category, you can find a peer equal outside of your organization. Find a mentor or a coach or somebody that can be that sounding board for you, particularly somebody who's been there before.
The journey is not as lonesome and as unique as we think. If you can find somebody that's gone through that, that can be valuable because misery loves company. The thing that I love about the price of leadership is that it normalizes these experiences and these feelings. It feels lonely, so we feel like we're the only ones like, “I must be doing something wrong. Why am I feeling this way?” Normalizing that sense is huge.
I love that you said that. You identified different levels of loneliness. Loneliness is a fact of life. Even if you're surrounded by family and friends, we're all still human beings. I love that my dad let people know, “It doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. There's a season for all this in us.” He would always say, “There's a pendulum and you’re going to go through this.” When did it dawn on you? What would you recommend to the leaders about reaching out and finding that? Some people call it a mastermind group. Where would you recommend they go for that? When did you latch on to somebody and realize, “The load is easier when shared.”
That light bulb moment happened for me a handful of years ago. I was working as the director of a training and research center. I was responsible for supervising and managing the bulk of that organization's personnel. We had two separate offices. The headquarter office was about 45 minutes away and there was a smaller staff there. I was third in line. If you want to think about the traditional organizational chart, I was third in command, so to speak. I was responsible for supervising the bulk of the organization's staff. I did feel lonely. I felt lonely because I was separated from the main office or headquarters office. I didn't feel a strong connection with the leadership there. It wasn't the healthiest of relationships, so it was a difficult dynamic.
I had individuals that I supervise that I felt like I had a good relationship with but you're the boss and the leader. It's not the same dynamic as a peer. I wasn't getting the mentorship from my leadership that I was meeting and craving. Being the leader of this group, I felt lonely. I’m not sure where to go because I had supervised teams about that size before but this was different. I was supervising people in IT. I don't know anything about IT. People had all these different facets. I tried to figure it out and find my way. That was when it dawned on me, “I'm not going to find the support I need in this little bubble.”
I'm recognizing that I need that support. If I'm going to continue to grow as a leader, I feel like I can get support to talk through scenarios, maintaining confidentiality. That was when it dawned on me that I recognize I needed it. I wasn't going to get it in my bubble and I was feeling lonely. I did look informally for peers that I knew that I respected their work and I appreciated that. I also looked for mentors and I started looking for other networking groups. That was the other big thing. That was when I started that journey of looking to network with other people who were both at my level and who were at the level that I aspired to reach both in life and business and leadership. Often when we reach that point that we feel at a crossroads, that's when it dawned on me that I needed to find that support and I wasn't going to find it internally for a variety of reasons.
You feel isolated and depleted and that's okay leaders because leadership is not meant to be done alone. Leadership is the ship of other things. I love that you hit that there are tons of formal groups that you can pay and join that are very structured and they go from all different prices but there are also groups that you can informally network on. You get on LinkedIn and there are many different groups that you can be a part of if you want to dip your toe in it.
Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich was adamant. One of the thirteen principles was the mastermind group. Ken Blanchard, one of my heroes and friends, said that none of us is as smart as all of us. Get other people because as leaders, it's lonely and we don't see our own biases, assumptions, and blind spots. It may not be as lonely as it is. We may have built up this thing, like, “It's just us.” It's easy, especially when you feel like you're not gelling with the people above and you're in this weird hybrid space of, “I'm not one of the boys or girls anymore, I'm a manager. How am I supposed to walk in this space?”
Thank you for unpacking that loneliness. That is great insight for people. If you are feeling lonely, trust that, leaders. That is your insight that it's time to connect because we don’t have to do this alone. I don't care who you are. Jesus didn't do it alone. Nobody does it alone. My dad also talked about weariness. Leadership is tough. You’re dealing with people’s problems at all hours of the night and you're not an hourly person. You're an FTE, which means you're like a heart surgeon. You can get called at any time in the night to come and do all kinds of things. How do you combat weariness? You've got to stay replenished and we get depleted easily. What does weariness mean to you? Maybe you can share with us the time you realized, “I'm alone. I need something.” Can you talk to us about when you were in a season of weariness and how you got out of that? You're vivacious and energetic and I know that takes work.
Leadership Philosophy: If you only focus on what's in front of you and not wired to think of what's next, you will lack the necessary energy to start new projects.
I have so many thoughts at the same time. There are many threads to tug on there. First, this word weariness is interesting. Speaking of networking and finding a tribe to help support you, I'm a part of this women's networking group, Organizational Development Professionals, and we meet monthly. It's been over Zoom and each month, we start by saying, “What's our word,” either for the day or for the month. Back in February 2021, my word was weary. I said, “I am weary.” It was the combination of we were almost a year into the pandemic and shut down.
February in Pennsylvania is in a normal year on the dreary side. It was gray and gloomy every day. On top of being in a good but intense season with my work, I was feeling fatigued because even good stress is stress. All of that, I felt weary. That's such a powerful word. I love that your dad chose that word because it's true to say we're tired. What does that mean? Burnout is not it either. Weary is such a good word. I'm happy to say that's no longer my word.
I could tell.
We can move on from that.
It's one, the pendulum.
It's interesting, too in thinking about these concepts, there's a lot of overlap because certainly if you're in a season of feeling overly lonely, you're more likely to feel weary. Much of getting recharged does come from that interaction, network, support, and connection. Global pandemic was not helping any of that. One of the key things in thinking about the dynamic of weariness is normalizing that you will go through those seasons and you're going to have those setbacks. Inevitably, we're going to have those times, setbacks, and temporary failures. I say temporary because it's only true failure if you become so weary that you give up. Those temporary failures are going to happen. Normalizing that you will feel those times of being weary but it does take work to pull yourself out of it.
Both from 2021 and going back to the dynamic that we talked about when I was the director for that center, there were absolutely times that I felt weary. I was leading this group through substantial change, not feeling like I had somebody at my equal level or close to it to help guide me through that change and feeling that loneliness. It was a lot. It was amazing at times. I had a great team and they were amazing. We had a lot of fun. It was awesome but it was also hard work.
During that time, I did a lot of meditating, time in nature, prayer, and looking for those connections. It was the same thing that pulled me out of that season. Some of it was seasonal. I felt like seasonal affective disorder was a real thing for the first time. Some of it was spring and renewal but I did work hard at that sense of balance and coming out of that weariness. That clicked for me that it doesn't happen by happenstance. It is being intentional about boundaries for your time and your energy. Making time for yourself, getting in nature and moving. All of that is essential to help pull yourself out of that season.
My dad has another speech called The Three Therapies of Life. The only one you didn't hit on was music. He was such a musician. His other two were people and work and you hit on them. It's weird because people at work are the things that make you weary and they're also the things that are going to pull you out of your weariness. I love that you hit on it and you hit on boundaries. If you're feeling tired, you probably are lax in your boundaries with people and with your work-life balance, which every day, it'll shift. Somebody said there's no such thing. Every day, it's shifting boundaries.
People go, “I'm too tired to work,” then you're never going to get out of it because you haven't dialed into the right work and the right people. That takes work and that takes people. I love that you found your way out of what you thought was it. It's not work and it's not people. It's finding the right work and the right people that replenish you and don't drain you. That takes awareness, discipline and boundaries. I love how you hit on all of them.
I've not heard that speech but I agree with him completely. Music is a big one for me, too. I’m a vocalist since fifth grade.
For our leaders out there that want to quit, you can want to quit but don't do it. Get right back in the game. I'm starting a course online on persistence and I had a couple of people that were on the fence and they're waiting to sign up. I knew because they felt overwhelmed. I did a gentle prodding. They're like, “I don't have time for this, but I'm going to do it.” I go, “There you have it. You're going to come out of this.” You saddled up and decided tenacity is more important than being tired. There's good weary and there's bad weary. I tell people it's like war-weary. When you would go to war and you go to bed tired but you knew you did everything you can, that's good weary. When you dial in that versus the worry-weary, where you're like, “I'm depleted,” then you get into that defeated. I love that you conquered your weariness.
Leadership Philosophy: Ban that need to constantly compare yourself or your organization to somebody else because you're on your own journey.
It's recognizing that it is these the seasons of our lives. It's not like, “I had that once six years ago. It's never going to happen again.” It will. That's part of life. It's part of the experience. Being able to name it, recognize it, have the tools in your toolbox to say, “This is where I am,” and not judge it. Not say, “I'm weary. I must be doing something wrong. This is wrong. I'm a failure,” but name it and recognize, “These are the things that I know can help pull me out of this. It might take a week or a few weeks and that's okay. I'm going to take those steps and I'm going to stick with it.” I love the word persistence. It's taking those steps to work your way back to a space of feeling rejuvenated, inspired, and recharged.
The next one is abandonment. Abandonment, for those of us in the pet rescue business, has a negative connotation. In the price of leadership, I remember growing up and I'm like, “I feel like I'm not getting traction. I'm spinning.” My father would be like, “You need to abandon what you like and want to think about in favor of what you ought and need to think about.” His definition of abandonment was hyper-focus, which for me, who has the gift of complication and has a little FOMO, Fear Of Missing Out, is a struggle for me. You've made some major transitions in your life and you don't do that without laser focus. Can you share with me the abandonment and some words for leaders out there that if they're feeling overwhelmed, they might need to dial some stuff in?
I appreciate this concept as well and this word. You're right, we do often think of abandonment as this negative thing, feeling abandoned. It's like if everything's a priority, nothing's a priority. You have to abandon, prune and focus for things to grow. You think about that if anybody's gardening. You have to prune to grow and thrive. We have to prune and we have to have that focus. If somebody is an executive and they are more of that visionary and they're the creative type, it's easy to get that shiny object syndrome to want to tackle the new thing because it's exciting and it's fun. For people who aren't wired that way, it's overwhelming. For them, it's probably easier to have that laser focus and to say, “No, we can't do that one.” Those are the good project managers.
Thank God for them.
It's a good point that when you are thinking about the leadership for your agency or organization or company, if you are that visionary, shiny object person, to have somebody that can balance you out, whether that is another executive or somebody on your team or a coach or mentor. Somebody who can call you to task and say, “Is this going to further your purpose here or is this a fun distraction?” That is essential to have an honest reflection of how are you wired because then if you are only ever solely focused on what's right in front of you and you're not wired to think what's next? What's ten years down the road? Where do we get our energy for our new projects? If you can only focus on what's in front of you, then having somebody else that is that visionary to help you can be a benefit. Any extreme for any of these things is not good. You don't want to be focused on one thing that you're missing out on the other things as well. It's having that balance. You don't want to prune down too far unless you've cut everything out.
That is wonderful advice for leaders out there. One of my favorite books is Michael Gerber's The E-Myth Revisited. We’re the three-legged stool as an entrepreneur, the visionary, the entrepreneur, and the manager, so that’s the more strategic and then we’re the technician, the tactical. This is one of the greatest things I wish somebody as a leader would have said to me because I am an operations girl, so I love project management. I'm like, “I can solve any problem if you give me enough resources and time, anything at all.” How do you eat an elephant? “One bite at a time.”
When you put on that C-Suite or entrepreneur hat, having somebody as a second-in-command that can look at you and say, “Focus.” That idea, you got to let the entrepreneur run with it because that's where they get their joy. Many times, we put it in a parking lot so I have a second thing, great ideas to pursue after I get through them. I use the Ivy Lee Method. Every night before, the top six things I need to get done, and I prioritize them. Otherwise, I spin and people look at me like I have no idea. Have somebody that can help you stay focused and look at you and say, “Really?” There's such a thing as being flexible and then there's such a thing as being frenetic. That's wonderful insights, Kelly.
It’s also essential as a leader to be willing to receive that feedback and have those hard conversations that way. Often, we talk about having difficult conversations like, “I'm the leader, so I need to talk to somebody about poor performance. I need to talk to somebody about something negative.” It's as difficult to hear that feedback. Making sure that you have not only that person but you've cultivated that space and that relationship to have that open dialogue and you're willing to hear it and be called out is essential.
My favorite area of study is the followership. Robert Kelly's critical thinking skills and all-in engagement. Everybody on your team have to cultivate that relationship where somebody feels free to go to you as a leader and say, “I know this is what you're looking at but if we do this.” That’s critical thinking skills, not critical spirit and not then telling you you're an idiot. That's feedback. Leaders have feelings, too. We don't know everything. Like you expect me to treat you with respect, it is a two-way street. A lot of times, people say, “That's the boss. I can't approach them.” “No.” Especially in a small business, maybe in a bureaucracy, but that's a big blobby thing. Most of our leaders aren't there. This is free. Every day is a startup. For us to get better, everybody gets a seat at the table. That's why I love small businesses. Cutting my teeth for over twenty years on huge bureaucratic bloated things, you get to have a voice, so use it.
It's interesting, I worked with a nonprofit organization for a while. The director there was a shiny object person.
My dad was. It was crazy.
I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm not so crazy, shiny object that I completely derail myself but it is fun. You'd be planning a fundraising event and even up to the week or two before, “What about if we tried this? What about if we tried that?” Early on in working with the organization and working with her, I didn't realize at first that this was her thing. As we develop a relationship, I see that she's excited. Being able to have that conversation with her to say, “I can see that this is exciting and I can see that you want to make this the best event possible but we're in a place now where these new ideas for this event are not helpful. Put it in a parking lot. Think about that for next time.”
Leadership Philosophy: You don't need to be a grand visionary or have the next greatest idea. You just need to know where you really want to go and achieve.
It won't be the last fundraiser. Was she open to receive that?
She was. This is where that relationship comes into play because she and I could have that type of conversation but some people on her staff did not have that relationship. They either didn't maybe feel comfortable having that conversation or it wasn't received as well. Communication is key all around. Particularly with those types of conversations, being able to have somebody who's going to call you out but then also being willing to receive that information and think about how to process it is important.
Thank you for sharing that. You hit on another one of my favorite leadership theories, LMX, Leader-Member Exchange. You alluded to the fact that you were in her in-group and the other people felt that they were in their out-group. My issue with that is they'll tell everybody else. That's where I’m like, “That’s where you need an evolved team that functions more.” “I can't tell the boss that.” “You're telling everybody else in the team that. Would you want your boss to talk to everybody else?”
That's why I tell followers, “If you want a better leader, be a better follower.” Help them because we're at the pointy end of the spear, so we're sucking in like a vacuum. We're in networking events and people are calling us and are trying to partner with us. Help us hone our mission edge, so we don't drift. I find that the older I get, that's the most important thing that I'm looking for in somebody that can help me stay on point and have those conversations.
One of the other things in your dad's speech that I appreciated is not only he talks about abandoning those things that might be fun but aren't going to serve us but also, there are those things that we do need to abandon. I'm thinking about, as leaders, the gossip and those types of conversations. You do abandon that to be an effective leader. We talked about the sense of failure. Abandon that sense of, “I’m going to accept this failure.” Keep persisting and keep moving on. One of the things that he talks about that I love is abandoning this negativity and having this attitude of gratitude and focusing on that. Thinking about that positive side of things, the positive side of abandonment and abandoning that negativity, having the attitude of gratitude and bringing that to each day is so powerful.
Without thankfulness, you will always want to walk away from your marriage or your job because you're going to think of the green grass syndrome. The green grass syndrome is a variation in shiny objects like, “I'm not thankful for what I have right now. I count my lack of blessings rather than my blessings.” You need to get rid of that because everything you have is right here in front of you. You have to cultivate it. He would say that, too. You cannot serve, be a leader, a follower, or be anything without thankfulness. It’s the number one thing because, without that, you won't stay committed and if you're not committed, you're going to walk away from everything that comes your way even the good things.
As you were saying that, it made me think too that the green grass perspective is also abandoning this need to always compare yourself, both personally as an individual and also what you're doing as an organization. It's one thing to look at other companies for inspiration or other leaders for inspiration to say, “That philosophy or that customer service approach or that business strategy aligns so much with our philosophy or our values. There are pieces of that we can pull from.”
Of course, you should always learn and grow. If there are things from other people or books or resources that align with you, absolutely incorporate that but there's a difference between inspiration and this need to compare. If you're constantly comparing, that is going to end up putting you into that mentality of lack. Abandoning that need to constantly compare yourself or your organization to somebody else because you're on your journey. Figure out your own values, philosophy, and all of that. Bring in things that align with that but don't compare yourself because that's going to drive you crazy.
Aspire but don't compete. That’s so 1990s. That helps people like me that have a little bit of a shiny object. I look around not because I don't trust my team or myself. You’re a doctor, too. We're researchers at heart. We're always like, “I didn't think of it that way.” Like this interview, I could write a whole another book on brought to my mind. It's in our nature to always be learning. That's a good thing because otherwise, I can't cut that off. To bound my aspirational stuff into something focused, absolutely don't do it. Never pivot because of competition. That's that scary part.
You’d never get anywhere.
You're going to waste a lot of time, energy, resources, and your team. I've done it many times. I'm like, “I'm sorry, guys.” Lastly, vision. I grew up, like you, under a lot of great people and I was like, “They're visionaries. I'm just little old Tracey, little old Kelly.” My dad said, “Vision is nothing more than just seeing what needs to be done and doing it.” I'm like, “That, I can do.” Can you share with me what vision means to you, how you craft your vision and what you would recommend for leaders? It's an esoteric word. Can you put some flesh on it so our leaders out there can be as visionary as you in an aspirational way, not in a competitive way?
I don't know that I would be the benchmark anyway. It is one of those words and concepts that can feel so enormous. If people would consider themselves visionary, it can feel so overwhelming like, “That's not for me.” A vision is like a compass. It's about having this direction and knowing where you want to go. You don't have to be this grand visionary and think of the next greatest idea or the next iPhone. That's not what vision means. That means knowing where you want to go.
Elevate Connection: Cultivate an Engaged, Inspired, Productive, and Profitable Team Culture
If anybody is a hiker, thousands of people set out every year to hike the Appalachian Trail. You can see on a map the whole length of the trail. People can know where they're going there. If they’re northbound, they're starting in Georgia and they're going to go all the way to Maine. They have that vision and that plan. They know where they're going. They can see the big picture. The day-to-day, you don't know exactly how long it's going to take you to get there. You have some maps that are going to help you along the way but mostly, you're looking at the next place and the next place, so you're only seeing many steps ahead of you.
I think of vision when it comes to both personally and leadership, it's helpful to think about it that way. You need to have that bigger plan. You need to know, where ultimately do I want to go? Have that goal in mind. You can have a general idea like, “It's going to take me about seven months to hike the entire Appalachian Trail. Seven months to get to my goal.” It might take a little less time or it might take a little more time. That's your goal. You're going to encounter obstacles along the way that you did not expect or didn't plan for. You take it one day at a time and you hit each benchmark as it arrives. You deal with those obstacles that show up because you know your ultimate goal and your ultimate vision.
Being willing to keep that endpoint in mind, that vision of, “This is where I want our company to go.” Is it serving X number of clients or reaching X number of people? It's not about, “We want to earn X number of dollars.” Have that deeper purpose or that deeper why. What is it that you want to accomplish and want to serve the world? What is it that you're seeking to do? Always having that goal but knowing that along the way, there's going to be twists and turns. You're going to have to be flexible, have to go with it and problem solve. If you have that clear, distinct end game in mind, that's going to help keep you through those times of loneliness and weariness. You'll have to abandon some of the side trails and side projects to stay laser-focused and keep that vision. I know that's still an abstract answer.
I love that because it's your compass. It's not where you think you should be. Especially for somebody that has a second-generation business like me, I’m like, “What would my dad do? What do people think I should do?” It's only after several years of going through this, I now know exactly what I'm bringing forward to his but where I'm going with it. It takes time. That was great that it's your compass where you want to go. When you dial that in, 99% of people reading are sick of exchanging time for money. A lot of times, we tie to these purpose words, “We're getting this big. What is my purpose? I don't know.” I love the compass because it's like, “What's the end thing? What do you want to go after?” That's a beautiful way to put it into something a lot more tactical.
When I work with leaders and teams, particularly with the leaders, one of the ways that we think about this vision and how we are going to execute the work that we're doing, I talk to them a lot about doing a leadership philosophy, both for the organization. Many companies have customer service philosophies. They don't have a leadership philosophy. They have this standard expectation for how customers should be treated even though each employee is going to bring their unique personality and perspective. Everybody's not going to handle every call the same but you have an expectation for the standard, the quality of that call, that transaction, or whatever is happening with your customer service philosophy but so few agencies have a leadership philosophy.
An employee's experience is dependent upon the supervisor they happen to have. If you get assigned to Jimmy, you have a great experience because he's focused, engaged, and he's working with you. You've got Jimmy over here and Johnny over here. If you get assigned to Johnny, he's a micromanager. He's this and he's that. You have a negative experience. When I go through his leadership philosophy exercises, I have a compass graphic. Not only is vision your compass but your leadership philosophy should also be your compass. It should be your guide. What are your core values as a leadership team and as a company? How are you going to inspire your people to go through these hard seasons? How are you going to stay inspired yourself? We talked about it and it takes work to feel inspired and motivated.
How are you going to respond to difficult situations? How are you going to respond when problems arise? It’s making sure that you have a way to address it. What are your non-negotiables? What aren't you going to accept? What are those things that aren't either behaviors or other situations that you're not going to accept? Having that philosophy, that compass, and set of guiding principles is another way to think about vision. It's not a vision in the typical sense of like, “Our end goal is to serve 1,000 families in this capacity.” Having that type of vision is important but also having the compass of, “This is our leadership philosophy. This is how we're going to operate,” while we navigate through to get to that vision can be powerful.
It ensures that you draw in the right team. This is going to resonate with your leadership philosophy. Not everybody's going to get my leadership style and I'm not going to get every follower's style. I can remember my dad saying, “Thank God, I'm not a pastor because if there was ever a sex scandal, there would be murder.” In other words, he is not pastoral. He's much like, “How could you be stupid?” That’s his leadership style. That resonates with a lot of people. There's going to be some people that are like, “No.”
I love that philosophy because then you get dialed in right from the get-go, “This is my expectation. This is what I'm delivering to you and this is what I expect back.” I love that, Kelly. That's awesome. We talked about loneliness, weariness, abandonment, and vision. We’ve unpacked a ton of tremendous stuff here. Is there anything else you want to share with the group while you've got this wonderful audience reading?
We've used this word throughout this conversation but it's worth reiterating and this is such a big word for me these days. It’s the idea of connection. Not only did we talk about loneliness, connection, and helping you come out of that season of weariness but also in thinking about vision and the importance of vision. Connection for me when I work with leaders and teams, helping team members feel connected to that vision. It's not enough to have a vision. You need to effectively communicate that to your team and help them see.
Leadership Philosophy: Business owners and executives are close to the team's vision, but the rest may not get it. Leaders have to be intentional about helping them see and feel it.
As an individual, you should see day-to-day how what you're doing connects to that vision is helping to move along further. As we talked about being focused, if you take a look at your day and every day the bulk of your work is not contributing and moving you forward in that vision, you need to take stock of how you're spending your time. Otherwise, you're going to get weary and burn out. It’s making sure that what you're doing is helping move to that vision but help your team see. Even if it's the most mundane tasks and sometimes those are the ones we need to see the most. How is what I'm doing contributing to that vision to the mission of the organization? Helping them feel connected to that is huge.
There's a ton of research that shows how important that is for people to feel that connection and being connected as a leader to your team. Yes, there's some measure of separation there by some necessity but you should still be connected. There needs to be that conversation and that dialogue. Help them feel connected with one another. As we talked about, we as leaders need to have those peers even if they're outside of our organization. Help them feel connected to one another and to their peers. Help them to feel like a team that’s all working together towards that common vision.
That's such an essential piece to helping everybody feel motivated and helping them all feel what they do matters. Their talents are being utilized and they're contributing to that bigger picture. That takes work. You can't take that for granted. It's easy and there's research that shows this. Leaders, business owners, executives, because we're so close to that vision and the mission of the organization, we feel everybody is but not everybody gets it. Not everybody feels that. You have to be intentional about helping them see that and feel that. That goes a long way.
That all-in that you talked about, Robert Kelly said that the two things to draw the team together to achieve the world are critical thinking and being able to talk, “Hey, boss,” and all-in engagement. You can't know about your mission, you’ve got to be all-in. I love that you talked about how we're at different levels. Even the military. You're an officer, you're enlisted, no fraternization but yet when it came to the mission, we would take a bullet for one another. You still can stay missionally connected. You have these levels. You’ve got to make sure that there are layers but that's an important point, Kelly. Thank you so much for that. You talked a lot about your work. How do people get in touch with you, possibly look at working with you and find out more about you? What's the best way to get in touch with you, Kelly?
Thank you. On all things social, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and all the things it’s @DrKellyWaltman. There are two different ways to connect with me on the web, so one is SLRLeadership.com. If people are interested in pre-ordering my book and getting some content to go along with that, the book is scheduled to be published on October 1st, 2021. It's Elevate Connection. That's a big word for me these days, connection. They can go to DrKellyWaltman.com and they can find a link to preorder the book there and get some content and also find a way to connect with me.
Kelly, I can't thank you enough for your words of inspiration. I know you have impacted me as a leader by hearing your words. You gave me some great ideas and I know our readers out there got a lot of great tools, insights, and words of affirmation from you. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much. It was a treat and an honor. I enjoyed it. I'm taking some things away too. I love that every time I have a conversation like this, I learn something new. Thank you so much.
It's like going to school. I can pick the brains of the greatest leaders and take it in. You’re wonderful, Kelly. Thank you again. To our readers out there, if you like what you’ve read, please hit the subscribe button. Like, share, leave us a comment and leave us a review. Go get Kelly's book, connect with her as well and share this episode with other leaders out there who need to understand what it takes to pay the price of leadership. Thank you so much, everybody for being part of our tremendous tribe. Keep on paying that price of leadership. Remember, we are right here to support you. Thank you so much. Have a tremendous rest of the day.
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About Kelly Waltman
Dr. Kelly Waltman is the founder and CEO of SLR Leadership Consulting, a #1 International Bestselling Author, and a Keynote Speaker. With over twenty years of experience developing and delivering curricula, Kelly has a passion for helping individuals learn and grow.
By helping take the fear out of feedback and sharing the tools to have better and braver conversations, she helps leaders and teams cultivate a workplace culture that is engaging, inspiring, and more productive than they thought possible.